Sleepover

I just got back from a night of raucous fun with my ward's Relief Society at a sleepover that took place at our Bishop's house. Ok, well, it wasn't really raucous. I just wanted to use that word. But it was fun. I mean, about 50 girls had free reign of the Bishop's huge house. My roomie Amanda was so amazed that he actually trusted us so much. No one was there but us girls. I think that such an event would never happen at any other college in this country without some serious, heavy partying going on. And lots of other stuff. Apparently the girls I go to church with are very mature. Or at the least we're not stupid.

Yesterday, I felt so cool. Latro talked to me after my Semantics class. Wow, I got to talk with one of my favorite Board writers. Not that he writes much now. But it was still cool. Dude, I don't even write for the Board, but I still feel prestigious and somewhat omniscient. Cause I have connections.

Sundance

This past Saturday, I went to the Sundance Film Festival in Park City with my roommates. We drove up about noon and the snow-covered mountains were incredibly gorgeous. When we got to Park City, we were lucky enough to get some pretty decent parking. So we trudged over to Main Street and walked up and down the rest of the day. It snowed all day long and got pretty cold near the end so we took the free shuttle bus back to the resort where we had parked. We got loads of free stuff; that made the trip totally worth it. And we saw Nick Nolte and the guy from the 40-Year Old Virgin. Amanda chatted up a couple of security guys and gave them her number, saying they should call if they were going to any cool parties that night. They did call later, inviting her to a party where Sting would be, but Amanda was unavailable and she deleted the message from her phone after copying their number down wrong. I'm not sure she should have gone even if it had worked out.

Tomorrow is my roommate Kate's birthday. I got her something today but I still have to find some way to wrap it. Well, I think I have some birthday bags.



Here's us in Park City: in the back from the left there's Amanda, Jenna, and me, in the front from the left there's Lindsay and Kate.



And us in front of the theater. We didn't actually go see any movies or anything, just walked around.

4X

Mom said I have to do this blog thingie, but I won't tag anyone at the end of mine to make them do it.

Four jobs you have had in your life:

1. Babysitter
2. Stained Glass Window shop assistant
3. YMCA child care provider
4. Desk clerk at the BYU library

Four movies you would watch over and over:

1. Lord of the Rings
2. Emma
3. Pirates of the Caribbean
4. The Chronicles of Narnia

Four places you have lived:

1. Huntsville, AL
2. Provo, UT
3. I've lived in 2 houses and one apartment in Huntsville. Does that count?
4. I've also lived on campus and off campus in Provo. They should really count as two completely different places.

Four TV shows you love to watch:

1. The OC
2. CSI:New York
3. Escaflowne
4. Lost (Well, I'd like to watch it.)

Four places you have been on vacation:

1. Scotland
2. London
3. Florida
4. Cedar Point, OH

Four websites I visit daily:

1. Gmail.com
2. The 100 Hour Board
3. Homestarrunner.com (well, almost daily)
4. BYU.edu

Four of my favorite foods:

1. Chocolate
2. Chicken Fettucini Alfredo
3. Fajitas
4. Meatballs

Four places I would rather be right now:

1. Home
2. Scotland
3. Somewhere warm
4. Asleep (I can't say in my bed, because that's where I am right now!)

Birthday

I'm 21 now. And my 21st birthday wasn't too bad. It fell on a Sunday, so it wasn't much of an exciting day. I woke up at 7 in the morning to get ready for church, cause I had to teach a lesson in Relief Society at 9. And when I walked out to the kitchen to eat breakfast, I caught my roomie, Amanda, putting up balloons and streamers. She was mad that I saw before she was done, so I told her that I'd be really surprised later. Church was good. I think that my lesson went well. Actually I only taught half the lesson; we team teach in our ward. After church I opened my presents from home. I got a movie, some CDs, a book, and a journal. When I was opening up the loot, my roommates were sitting around (And Jessica's fiance was there too), so as I opened up the last bag, I pulled out this little travel kit with shampoo and soap and stuff. Then I realized that something else was still in the bag, so I pulled the other thing out. Poor Scott watched in confusion as I held up a bra! We all laughed and then I put the bra back in the bag so he wouldn't feel weird.

After that, I went over to Jamie's apartment for dinner and dessert. (Jamie is my roomie Lindsay's cousin.) We had spaghetti and for dessert, ice cream and this fudge pudding stuff. It was really good. Then we hung out and tried to play snooker on this mini-pool/snooker game that Kate got me. It didn't really work, cause the little table's surface was not flat at all.

Anyways, the rest of the day was pretty uneventful. I did like that I didn't have to go to school the next day though.

And just to add something, I've pretty much given up on a boy ever liking me, especially a boy liking me when I like him. I just don't think I'm a girl that guys are attracted to. I'm not worried about not having a boyfriend or getting married and all that. How could I be when boys don't even like me? And it especially hurts when I know that all my friends are way more attractive than me and not just in looks. People tell me not to worry, that I'm way too young to worry about relationships. I suppose that's all good and well, but it's not that comforting when you can't even start a relationship as a friend with a boy and you really have no idea how to do so.
And on top of that, I'm scared about my roommates, who are my best friends, going off and getting married and leaving me behind. I just wish I could go back to being in the 1st grade, when boys were just people I chased around the playground and I knew that my friends would be there forever.

School

I think I like this whole one-word title thing.

And I also think that school will be ok this year. I've now been to each of my classes, one I've even been to twice. Latin will be much better than last year, because I really like my teacher. Semantics will be awesome because Latro is in my class!!! He doesn't know me or anything, but I know who he is. Kinda creepy, I know. But he was always my favorite male writer on the Board. Geography I'm hoping will be a breeze and D&C shouldn't be bad at all. My teacher for that is Bro. Mineer. He's this adorable old man who reminds so much of my Grandpa Howell. It's like I'm taking a class from my own grandfather.

Tomorrow is going to be so not that fun. I'm in school or working from 9 to 5. No breaks. I don't even get an hour for lunch! And then tomorrow I'll actually have to do homework. At least I won't have to be on campus for forever like last semester on Mondays. 10 in the morning to 12 midnight. Ugh.

And my imaginary roommate, Heather, moved out. So I might be getting someone else living in my room. Kate's old roommate might move in. Right now, she's actually sleeping here anyway. I don't mind if she does make it permanent. She's been really nice so far; it's just weird actually sleeping in a room with another person. I'll have to get used to it again. Thank goodness she doesn't snore though! I don't want to spend another year always sleeping on the couch. Awww, poor Shannay-nay!

Awake

So I had a break for awhile from my blog. But I think I should start writing again. And there are lots of other things I should start doing too.

Coming back to Provo from Christmas break was like waking up from a dream. The night I got back, I lay on my bed wondering if I had even left Utah. Home is a completely different world and I have to adjust myself into someone else when I go there. I have to be happy there.

I am certainly not a brave person. Sometimes I come across brave people, people who actually look and feel real and who aren't afraid of who they are and of letting someone else know them. And I admire them and want to be like them. But I distance myself from them. Because I'm not that good. I wish I had that special gift with words that some people have. That I could say something, and the words would be perfect. Maybe that's why I hate writing papers and talks and lessons so much. My words are much too incompetent.

I was reading the blog of someone I know and they had written a Christmas list of what they wanted. Many of the things on that list are what I want too. But there was one thing on that list that I have and I'm extremely grateful for that. My job. It may sound silly, but because I have a job, I can wake up in the morning. I have something to occupy my time, something to take pride and joy in. School doesn't do that for me anymore. That's my own fault, I know. But I live for waking up and walking up to that wonderful library. I live for standing at that desk and helping patrons to check out a book, or to find a book. I live for working with some of the most amazing people I've ever met. I live for sitting at the computer in back with a full cart of books rolled up next to me. I live for handling those books, those beautiful bits of an author's soul. When I someday leave BYU and the library behind, my heart will weep to lose something I love so much. And a bit of my heart will stay here, too.

As I read over what I've just written, I realize again how incredibly incompetent a writer I am. My thoughts are so jumbled, so disorganized. I apologize for my lack of skill. And even after writing all this, I still haven't gotten to a point. But I don't think I have one anyway.